Oliver Benjamin
“What did you see?” Heck demanded. “Was it Bidden?”
“No, it was something else. I don’t know what. Some lady covered
with tits.”
“Tits?” Izzy said, “What the fuck are you talking about.”
“The statue,” Colin said, “It’s not the same. I don’t know if it’s
blocking the camera. Aphrodite’s gone. Now there’s one of some lady
with a whole bunch of tits.”
Colin had not been home in years and so did not know that his
father had blown Aphrodite’s head off during his duel with Roy. A
love goddess with no arms was permissible, but at the very least she
should have a head.
Following the duel, Bidden had the remains of the statue
removed. For a long time there had been no one to guard over the
pool. It was only recently that he installed a new one on the spot, a
gift from his overweight, overpaid new überfrau.
“Is it in the same place?” Sprout asked. “If it’s in the same place
and it’s about the same size then can’t we assume it’ll be okay?”
“I don’t know,” said Colin. “I guess we’ll have to take that
chance.”
All of them except Colin scaled the fence easily, and climbed
down the tree. After a pause for young Bidden to catch his breath,
they timed the sweep of the other closed-circuit camera and
proceeded quickly toward the new statue, hoping it would provide
sufficient cover from the other camera pointed in their direction.
From there they could then safely pause and make their way across
the lawn to the sprawling mansion. They hid in the moonshadow
behind the statue and waited for favorable ingress.
“These aren’t tits,” said Colin. He reached out to touch one of
them. They were conspicuously unnippled. “What are they?”
“Why does it matter?” said Izzy.
“I think they’re eggs,” Sprout said. “Some fertility goddess or
something.”
“Maybe grapes,” Izzy guessed.
General Heck stood transfixed before the icon. “We studied
Greek war gods in Military Science. That’s Diana. Goddess of hunting
and childbirth. They’re testicles,” he said, “From bulls.”
Colin took his hand from the statue. The others made displeased
faces in the darkness.
Hopeful that they had not been spotted, they pressed on across
the unlit garden to the looming, sprawling mountain of glass and
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