Oliver Benjamin
categories and civilization collapses.” He looked over at Bean
Unbearable, dressed up in a buttoned-down shirt and slacks, his hair
cut and styled. He had even washed under his fingernails. What a
getup.
“He’s taking an awful long time,” Partment said. “How long does
he need to throw a cup in the trash?”
Inside the store a particularly helpful employee was helping the kid
retrieve the membership cup from the trash receptacle he had just
tossed it into.
“No, you see, you get to keepthese,” he was explaining, “Every
refill is discounted and after buying twenty refills, you get another
refill free! That’s what being a Biddenbrooks Gold Cup member is all
about!”
“I don’t want to be a member,” the shaking kid tried to say, but
the employee would have none of it.
“I’ve been a Gold Cup member for four years and every year I get
more perks. Perks, get it? Last month they sent me a Biddenbrooks
Swimsuit Calendar. Each month has a different bean with a swimsuit
painted on it. Amazing, really. I think it’s kind of symbolic, you
know? So much power contained in such a small bean. They actually
look kind of sexy…”
“Look,” the kid was on the edge of hysterics, “I don’t want the
cup. Please leave it in there.”
“If you really don’t want it…” the employee said, hesitating, but
then started rummaging again. “But this is all paper trash,” he said,
“We’ve got to recycle our plastics. For the good of the environment.
Oh. Here it is.”
He held the cup and shook it. The kid stretched his arms out in
front of him.
“There’s something in here,” the employee noted, “I’ll have to
dump out the gunk out before I can put it in the recycle bin.” He
began fussing with the top. The kid’s eyes grew wide and he spun
reflexively on his heels back towards the exit.
Partment wanted to say “Look at that fucking idiot. What the hell is
he doing? He’s running out of the store!” but there was no time. He
only managed, “Look,” before the whole building shuddered under a
shockwave of molecules escaping from the prisons of their chemical
chains. Freedom! they might have all exulted, had they mouths and
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