At work the next day, Bidden was in a nauseatingly good mood. Full
of compliments and backslaps, the employees were all taken off
guard by his effusive charm. But not Roy, for whom each poised and
grinning tooth seemed to cut like a dagger. Ellie said that smiling was
an animal reflex initially designed to display strength and
confidence—an enamel arsenal—not comradeship or congeniality.
Bidden called Roy into his office and announced that “cruelty-
free” coffee was now his number-one priority. He wanted to make the
world a better place, he said, for his children. A dramatic pause
followed. Roy said nothing. Bidden subsequently proclaimed that our
children were our future. Roy still said nothing. “Children,” Morris
started to say, but Roy only stared.
“Goddamn it Roy, I’m trying to tell you something here.”
“What? Are we marketing a kiddie coffee now?”
“You nimwit. I’m trying to tell you that Ellie’s pregnant.”
Roy did his best to simulate a smile. His armory seemed blunt
and unsteady compared with Bidden’s.
“Congratulations.”
“And I’ve got some good news for you too!” Morris said, handing
him a cigar. “I’m appointing you to run our new ‘coffee
consciousness’ program. We’re going to super-size this fucker. I’ve
got a guy in my pocket over at the networks who’s going to make a big
splash about it when its ready. And Ellie’s insisted that she help you
run it. How could I refuse? It was her idea in the first place.”
Roy’s spirits resurfaced. In a way, this was the realization of his
own baby. And he and Ellie would be working on it together. Perhaps
with the increased time they would be spending alone he could slowly
wean her away from Bidden. But she was with his child. This was
terrible.
“I hope you don’t have anything planned for the next few
months,” Bidden said, “Because I’m sending you on a trip across the
globe. You’re going to find me the fairest coffee farms on the planet.”
“I am?” Roy’s heart leapt. The scenario was intoxicating. “You
don’t mind being apart from your wife?”
Bidden started. “Apart? Are you nuts? She’s not going anywhere.
You are.”
Having leapt, his heart now landed with a splat.
“She’s pregnant, for God’s sake,” Morris exclaimed, “And
anyway, I’ve got to keep her on a short leash. With a woman like that
ABYSSINIA
98
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