Oliver Benjamin
CHAPTER 29
I arrived at the therapy session in a stunned state. A cacophony of
thoughts filled my head, each jostling the other for a moment of
airtime. Was Yippee right? Was there really such a menacing plot
afoot in this kooky coalition? And murder! Would I ever be able to
participate in that? And what about this therapy group? Was I really
ready to take the first step and share my misery with these goofs in
my confession session? Surely I couldn’t tell them about the HIV. I
would have to make up something that would satisfy them but
wouldn’t get me thrown off the ashram, something like a fear of
heights or something. Or could I just turn tail and flee, despite the
danger in which Yippee would soon find himself?
No, of course not. I had to get inside too. This was my big
opportunity to do something important and unselfish in my life.
There was no way I could abandon my friends, or the rest of the
world for that matter. I decided to share with the group my deep-
seated fear of needles as a result of being hygienically abused by my
father. It worked at the clinic.
I sat down on the carpet next to Oscar, wishing I had time to
brief him on the situation. I merely told him that I was going to share
with the group my “problem.” He said he didn’t think that a bad
haircut and low intelligence was such a big problem. I insisted that
he share and get initiated as well. It was high time, I said, that we got
involved more deeply in the organization.
Oscar nodded. “I was planning to. Why do you think I’m
sweating so much?”
Safora started the meeting.
“Now there are still a few of you who haven’t shared with the
group. Would any of you care to tell your problemsss to us?”
I raised my hand.
“Very good, Jake. Go ahead.”
I cleared my throat and tried to start, but I wasn’t sure how to
confess a problem that I didn’t have and make it convincing. In the
clinic it had been easy, because I was under a lot of pressure, but here
I felt smothered by a sea of concerned, albeit dopey faces. I didn’t
know how to begin. I looked over at Oscar, but he had his head in his
hands and was shivering with nervous anticipation of his own
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