Oliver Benjamin
an oracle?”
“That’s easy. I killed my parents,” he said.
Which was not an answer anyone was expecting. As if in reply, a
tremendous rolling explosion from outside shook the building.
Everyone rushed to the window to see what happened.
“Fucking weather,” Partment said.
The water was coming down in screaming metallic sheets. The
heavens looked hellish. The Anarkids were outside dancing around
emulating pagans with liters of beer raised over their heads.
Suddenly it seemed a whole lot better to be inside, even if they were
bunking with a patricidal psycho.
“Your homeless buddies are going to get soaked,” Niles said to
Partment.
“I hope so,” the old man smirked, “They were starting to stink.”
Niles opened his eyes wide. Partment saw that he actually did
resemble a cartoon tarantula.
“Just a joke, son, just a joke,” he replied, “Actually, I amhaving
them clean up a bit. Haircuts, manicures, corns removed. Part of a
new project.”
“What, are you going to get them acting careers?” Niles joked.
“In a way, yes,” he smacked his hands together, “If we can’t beat
Biddenbrooks, we’ll join them.”
“But we don’t want to join…”
“Oh, only for a couple hours. Just long enough to kick ‘em in the
nuts.”
Meanwhile, Bennie and his family arrived at Undergrounds. The sky
tore itself open just as they walked in the door.
“Qué buena suerte!” an uncle said.
“It ain’t luck,” Bennie said, “It’s magic. Right mama?”
“Of course, niño,” said Alma Pantera. “Now make me a cup of
poison and let’s get to work.” The poison she was referring to looked
like simple coffee, but that was only its more minor toxin. A more
substantial serum was in the works.
Psychoactive drugs were almost all natural poisons, fashioned by
nature to prevent bugs from destroying her garden. Given enough,
any drug could crush a man like an insect. Forty cups of coffee,
twenty cigarettes eaten instead of smoked, a few ounces of opium or
coca would be enough to end our addictions forever. Yet in small
doses, they changed the world. In small doses, something was
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