2. Fractured Latin
Partment’s lobby was packed with homeless, a remarkably silent
bunch but with eyes so electric one could use them to read by. Niles
was unloading the last bag of pot seeds at World O’Partments, having
finally managed to finish the haul. He stood expecting his payment.
Partment opened a sack and ran his fingers through the beige
ball-bearings, lubricants of imaginative machinery.
Niles remarked, “It says in the bible that ganja was the first thing
God created on earth. According to Genesis, ‘God said, Let the earth
bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed.’”
Partment laughed, “Maybe that’s why they ate the apple in the
first place. They had the munchies.”
“That would explain it,” Niles smiled.
Partment said, “Actually there’s a theory that marijuana was the
first cultivated plant. Pygmies in Africa traditionally smoke dope to
give them patience while waiting for the hunt. It’s their only crop.
That could be how agriculture got started. But that’s bullshit.
Agriculture actually got started because of beer.”
“Beer?”
“Beer. Wheat farming and beer brewing emerged at exactly the
same time. It’s not a coincidence. That’s why people stopped being
nomadic. Wheat has to sit around for months to turn into beer. They
had to wait around for their hooch to ferment. Then they got too
drunk to leave.”
“So then, Cain was a drunk.”
“Sure. He would have had to get something more out of it than
just food. Farming provided less nutrition than hunting and
gathering and herding, and it was much harder work. Ten thousand
years later, the result is this. Modern civilization and its attendant
imbalances.”
“They should have stuck with ganja,” Niles said.
“They should have.” Partment replied, snapping his fingers to
initiate the patching up of old mistakes. Slowly the army of homeless
mercenaries shambled their way over. Like bored and listless
refugees at a food drop, they filled their pockets with the inedible
seeds. Partment looked upon his dirty mass of humanity with pride.
They were extended transients in an artificial game of life that could
ABYSSINIA
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