Oliver Benjamin
Partment nodded gravely. He stood up and walked to the center
of the lobby. “Okay,” he announced, “Which one of you did this?”
A homeless man stood up from the corner of the room. It was not
the same one who had been chased. This one was a sweet-looking old
fellow whose glasses had lenses so thick they cast splintered
rainbows across the room. He stumbled to the center of the lobby,
bumping into furniture with practiced care.
“It was I,” he said.
“Norbert,” Partment groaned. “If I’ve told you once…”
“I’m sorry gentlemen. Please take me to the station and book me.
It’s all my fault. I thought it merely another flyer meant to look like a
parking ticket. You see, car owners don’t have time to read twosuch
flyers these days. They lead such busy lives…”
“Listen, I’m going to have to fire you,” Partment said, pushing a
knobby digit into the man’s concave chest. This caused poor Norbert
to sink to his knees in anguish.
He reached his clasped hands upwards. “But it’s all I have, sir!
My job. My last shred of self-respect!” He began to wail inconsolably.
“Okay, okay,” the other officer interrupted at last. “Listen, we’ll
make an exception in this case. Just don’t do it again.”
“You’re very kind officer,” Norbert said, looking up at him like a
leprotic old pooch.
“My grandmother was also blind and crazy,” the officer said
sympathetically.
Roy watched as Partment handed him back the original ticket
and followed the two of them outside. Norbert received a few pats on
the back, bowed deeply and took off his glasses. Meanwhile, they all
glared at Roy as if he were an escaped zoo animal of unfamiliar
predilection.
Partment came back in and charged directly towards Roy, staring
him dead in the eye. “You and me,” he grumbled, “We’ve got to talk.”
“Don’t worry,” Roy promised, “I won’t tell. I’m not a lover of the
law.”
Partment was relieved. He even accepted an invitation to come
on over to the coffeehouse for a cup.
“It’s a lot like your place,” Roy said. “Just with less people.”
When they arrived, there was one more person there than Roy
expected. An old acquaintance had tracked him down.
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