Oliver Benjamin
Was he asleep? She rubbed his long fingers. They were sick and
limp as moribund reeds.
“The others came to see me,” she went on, “I couldn’t talk to
them. They wouldn’t understand anyway. No one has ever
understood. No one except you.” But he did not seem to understand
anything now.
“I heard them say you were here. You’re the only one who can
help me, Yak. You’ve got to help me. I can’t let go.” She clutched his
hand tighter, accidentally dislodging the catheter. Fluid spilled out
onto the floor. She tried hurriedly to reinsert it but his hand moved
slightly.
“I don’t need it,” he murmured weakly. She tied a knot in the
tube and let it dangle beside the bed.
“You’re awake,” she said.
“Yes,” he replied.
“Why didn’t you tell me who you were?” she said.
Yak’s chest started to move more rapidly. He struggled with the
words. “I didn’t want you to know,” he said, “I caused you too much
pain. I didn’t want to hurt you again.”
“You hurt me,” she admitted. “More than I thought was possible
for a girl to hurt.”
Yak’s voice wavered. “You can’t imagine how bad I felt about
that,” he said, “Worse than I thought was possible for a man to feel.
I thought I killed you. And in a way I suppose I did. I took your youth.
Your life. Your chance to give life. I hurt your family. I took your
sanity. I took everything anyone could take from someone. I stole
your soul. I thought myself a kind of angel once, and maybe I was, but
a dark one.”
A rivulet of fluid raced down her face. “You don’t understand, do
you?” she cried, “You took all those things. But they meant nothing
compared to the most important thing of all you took.”
“What was that?” he asked.
“Yourself. You took you away from me. You abandoned me in
that tent. And you lied. You said we would be together always.”
Yak searched his memory. “That would have been an enormous,
impossible promise.”
“Don’t you remember?” she breathed deeply and recited a poem
he had written for her as a child, one that she could never hope to
forget even if she wanted to.
365
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