in cartoon films were always without mothers. He didn’t know why it
worked out like that. But in Colin’s mind this made them brethren.
And it made him a great aficionado of a cartoonish lifestyle.
Other than pity, Colin elicited few feelings from Roy. It had never
been easy for Roy to relate to drunks; they were on the other side of
the beverage fence. Later, mutual hatred for Colin’s father would
help bring them closer, though their tribal differences would always
remain striking.The first few times they met, he found Colin
intelligent and animated, but rather irritating and often
breathtakingly obnoxious. His favorite topic of conversation at the
crowded parties Bidden would throw was how his father had driven
his mother to an early death. He was categorically rude to Ellie,
ignoring anything she had to say after the initial “hello.” Servants
were paid to follow him around, ready to spirit him off to a distant
bedroom as soon as he really lost his cool in front of the guests. They
carried barf bags and cleaning supplies in their pockets and
chloroform-soaked handkerchiefs should things get really out of
control.
One year, Colin and Roy were enjoying a drink together out by
the pool. Roy and Ellie had not yet begun their affair, and Roy
welcomed the opportunity to get away from all the talk of stock
options and market share. Bidden’s parties made him feel like an
outcast, especially this time: he made the mistake of wearing a black
suit and white shirt. Many of the guests thought he was one of the
hired help.
“Will you make me a scotch and soda?” a drunk old man had
asked him.
“Of course,” Roy said, raising his hands above his head like a
wizard, “You are a scotch and soda.”
He grabbed a bottle himself and strolled outside to the huge
backyard. Colin was already out there, chipping golf balls into the
pool. After comporting himself rudely in front of the guests his father
had taken him aside and growled, “I’ve given you a life most young
men would kill for!”
Colin had replied loudly, “What have you given me? Mom was
the life. You were the red erection.” Bidden snapped his fingers,
summoning a goon, but Colin waved his palms in surrender, “Don’t
bother. I’m going to go vomit in the begonias.”
“So you like working with King Dad?” Colin asked Roy as he
swung haphazardly at golf balls. Roy was dangling his feet in the pool
ABYSSINIA
76
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