Oliver Benjamin
down by the shore as well, shooting pellet guns at the seagulls
circling in to feast at low tide.
Ignoring city ordinances as well as the indignation of the
bystanders, Colin once again tore off all his clothes and flopped into
the surf. The sky was bleeding and the ocean was unusually warm.
They all felt really fucking righteous now.
As Roy kissed Sprout for the very first time, a maimed seagull
plunged into the water and showered them with a spray of
sacramental foam. The sun fell down and struck the water with a kiss.
A brief violet ray flashed between them as they collided.
2. Gymnesia
Early the next morning, Roy strolled into Martin’s gym, intent on
increasing beauty in the world, namely his own. He liked Martin, and
appreciated what he was trying to do, but this day Roy’s motives were
purely selfish. Still, it was nice to know that each imaginary mile he
rode on the stationary bike would help some poor kid in a wrecked
country far away.
Gymnesia was a stylish and socially-conscious place where
people could lighten not only their loads, but their consciences too.
Martin had figured out a way to kill two burdens with one stone: The
problem in rich countries was that not only did their citizens
effectively make off with an unfair amount of the world’s resources,
but—like bad shoplifters—they were obviously hiding them around
their waists. To invoke a quest for the slender was therefore to imply
an orientation toward innocence. But spending hours a day in a gym
seemed too vain to be innocent. How then, to keep up the pose of
being naturally virtuous?
Martin recognized this dilemma years before, in the Peace Corps
in Ethiopia. It went without saying that there was no weight problem
in Ethiopia and consequently few gyms. Human beings were
designed for physical activity, and chasing game or plowing fields
were good ways to capitalize on that design. But physical labor was
an inefficient way of producing wealth, so modernized man did his
labor in his head or with the help of machines. To remain physically
healthy he had to keep up the pose of being natural, so gyms replaced
hunting and farming, and sports replaced combat. Only it was a
hollow charade because there was nothing heroic nor productive
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