Oliver Benjamin
together in the corner. He pointed the gun at us.
“No!” I screamed, closing my eyes
“Agggh!” cried Yippee.
“Stop!” said Joe.
But nothing happened. We opened our eyes. The executioner
had pulled off his hood.
“I heard what you said,” Oscar mumbled through his gas mask.
“And fuck you to hell.”
“Long live the Ozzy Lama!” Yippee yelled.
Oscar dropped the gun and pulled out three more gas masks,
hidden under his robe. “Come on you morons!” he cried, “The battle’s
only half over! We’ve got to go out and help the others!” He helped us
to our feet and direct us outside.
Proudly, Oscar threw open the door to the Omniraja’s complex,
where a full-scale riot was in progress.
“Look!” said Oscar, “The Juddhists are capturing Canaan!”
After all the strange things I’d seen on my travels, this was by far
the most outrageous. The entire area was packed with Omniraja
disciples in full-scale combat against their new adversaries, the
Juddhists of Samrin Island. In the brief time since Oscar had left,
their numbers had swelled to where they were only badly
outnumbered now instead of utterly pathetic.
Oscar explained hurriedly that while we were locked up, he had
brought back his followers from Thailand and stormed the grounds,
intent on exposing the Omniraja’s plan and enlightening the
woebegone sannyasis to the evil that was festering there. But the
sannyasis violently opposed any attack on the Omniraja, and
physically lashed out at the Juddhist threat, holding them at bay.
We had to help Oscar’s congregation subdue the sannyasis
before they found out about the death of their leader. The last thing
we wanted was for the Omniraja to become a martyr. Unfortunately,
a stern voice came over the ashram loudspeaker:
Fellow sannyasis! Fellow sannyasis! Our leader has been
murdered. We repeat: the Omniraja is dead. He has been killed by
the intruders. Fellow sannyasis, we must avenge his death. We must
dispose of the intruders!
As the fracas escalated, Yippee, Joe, and I jumped in, throwing fists
in every direction. It was like some crazy Fourth-of-July celebration:
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