“Just…uh…wow…amazing…I can’t explain…everything…wow.”
“Wow,” they all said again.
We all started laughing and then got up and skipped off down
the beach. Hours later we realized that we had forgotten our clothes
and had to come back for them. By that time, I had figured out many
of the great mysteries of the universe. The next morning I had
forgotten the answers to these secrets but it didn’t matter. The
important thing was that there was a world of wonder out there,
behind the obvious, and that I was going to find a way to explore it.
CHAPTER 12
“Hugo.”
No answer.
“Huge.” Still no answer. Desperation, then inspiration.
“You three girls said you want to have sex with my friend
Hugo?” I said to an imaginary party of visitors.
“What? What? What?” croaked Hugo from under a pillow.
“Dude, are you dead?”
“Maybe. You tell me.”
“Huge, it’s two-thirty in the afternoon. The sun is going down.
It’s time to get up.”
“Wake me up when its dark. I don’t think I can see colors
anymore anyway. My rods and cones are all fucked up.”
“Speaking of rods and cones, how did you get on last night?”
“I fucked her,” he said matter-of-factly.
“You did? Where?” I was surprised.
“Mount Olympus. I don’t know, somewhere on this island or
very close to it. How do you expect me to remember? It was dark and
I was hallucinating. Where are they now?” he asked sluggishly.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t find them.”
“Just look for a tall blonde girl with a big chest who’s limping
really badly,” he said with a tired wink, “I’m hung like a horse.”
“I saw it last night. I think you mean ‘seahorse.’”
“Fuck you. The water was cold.” He hit me with a pillow. “And
what about you, Socrates? How’d you do last night? Or were you too
busy spouting that bullshit idea that Coke and Pepsi are really owned
by the same sinister monopoly?”
BIG AMERICAN BREAKFAST
86
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