“Tree?” I said.
“Rumor has it that he’s running from the law or something and
doesn’t want to leave a trail. Makes sense to me, you know. Probably
why he doesn’t talk to anyone. This is a pretty cool place to hide.”
I stared at the man with the notebook, who was now sitting at
the bar, drinking ice water and writing furiously in a pale yellow
notebook. He had long, straight black hair tied in a pony tail, but his
youthful appearance couldn’t hide the fact that he was probably in
his late forties. It was difficult to place his age, though, as he could
have been a younger man who had just been through a lot of shit. Dee
Tok was talking in what appeared to be a friendly manner to him, but
Tree kept his head lowered and merely shook his head politely. Then
Dee put his hand on his shoulder and gave it an affectionate squeeze.
They seemed to be good friends. As Dee turned around to pour
drinks, Tree looked up briefly at Dee’s back, and for a second you
could distinguish a pair of marvelous violet-colored eyes. They
lingered on his friend for a second and then impulsively returned to
the yellow notebook.
Something about Tree’s eyes brought about in me an immense
feeling of loneliness. I looked around me and realized that I had some
pretty good friends stacked up and that I had no reason to feel lonely,
but the feeling remained. I told everyone that I needed some air, and
walked out of the pub and down to the shore. Huge yelled subtly as I
was walking out, “You’re not puking again, are you?” I shook my head
no.
I sat down on the sand and looked into the beautiful, clear
nighttime sky, suddenly thinking of home. I stared at the moon but
couldn’t see anything but an image of Charly. Charly, who had once
entered a chicken into a pet beauty contest. Charly, who knew all the
words to every Nick Drake song. Charly, who used one foot for the
gas and another for the brake.
God, I missed her. It was only now, when I was really drunk that
I could admit that to myself. But I could not allow myself to believe
that I had made a mistake in leaving her. There was so much for me
to see and do, I admonished myself, and in time she would vanish
from my memory, leaving me that much closer to the undefined
freedom that I so longed for. Then I would be OK, I told myself.
I felt a hand on my back and smelled perfume. It was Helen. She
asked me if I was feeling all right and I answered that I was. Then, I
turned around, put my arm around her waist and pulled her around
BIG AMERICAN BREAKFAST
90
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