The place was suddenly infested with anarchists, nine in total.
They had finally grown tired of the weather and stormed the low
gates of Undergrounds.
“Hey!” said Roy, trying to get their attention. They couldn’t hear
him over the din of their boombox. One of them had broken a chair
and was trying to start a bonfire with it.
Roy took the fire extinguisher from the wall and sprayed it at the
tyro-pyromaniac.
“Oi! Whatcha trying to do, kill him?” one of them yelled.
“Get out of here,” Roy said, “Or I’ll call the police.”
“So call them. We’re not breaking any laws.”
“You’re destroying private property. You’re trespassing. You’re
disturbing the peace.”
“And you’re ugly too!” yelled Colin.
“Fuck off. It’s shitty outside. We’re not leaving.”
Roy grabbed his raincoat and ran out the door. When he reached
the Promenade he came upon two policemen. The entire area was
otherwise empty due to the storm.
“What great luck!” Roy thought as he approached the cops and
explained the situation.
“Oh yeah,” one officer replied. “You’re the guy from that limbo
place. The one that’s neither here nor there. Not public, not private.”
“Right,” said the other. “You don’t have to follow any rules
because there aren’t any in there. So, how can we enforce any rules if
there aren’t any?” They both chuckled. These were the cops who
showed up the night of the party.
“What shitty luck,” Roy thought to himself and ran back to the
store.
Things had taken a turn for the worse. The punks broke open the
cash register and Colin, Niles and Martin were obliged to stop the
robbery. Luckily, the young Turks were poorly fed. Colin and Niles
seemed together to outweigh all of them. Plus, Martin was a fine
kickboxer, so the fight ended up somewhat even.
When Roy walked in the door, the three girls jumped on him and
tried to scratch his eyeballs out. He collapsed on the floor and
protected his face. Roy could not bring himself to strike women, no
matter how bloodthirsty. Fortunately, his cat Sheba had no such
compunctions and knew her way around a catfight. She jumped on
the girls and began clawing away. Tufts of dyed hair and tiny pieces
of tattooed skin flew in all directions until they clambered for safety.
ABYSSINIA
168
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