you trying to cover your bald spot all the time.”
“And speaking of smelting,” Faye unloaded, “You must change
that shirt. It really smelts!”
The two women broke into a cacophony of self-righteous,
gloating, and startlingly beefy laughter while the rest of us giggled
nervously and Herman sat grinning in an attempt to disguise his own
mortification. There was an uncomfortable silence while we all tried
to survey the situation. Whatever point Herman had made had been
obliterated, and in the interest of mirth and possible continued
picking on an easy target, the promise of intellectual exchange had
been wiped off the table. Then Charly spoke:
“Well, ladies, we are all very lucky to have you and your highly-
esteemed literary senses of humor here. It makes a hopelessly
difficult subject such a joy.”
The two young co-editors tightened their sneers to form two
parallel lines in space, lines that were ostensibly never supposed to
meet. Charly continued, “I’m happy to see you don’t take yourselves
as seriously as your publication seems to indicate. But I think the
method you’ve employed here only display a true lack of
understanding of the situation you profess to be experts on.”
“What?” said Britt, “What are you trying to say?”
Charly dropped her head momentarily, then smiled and spoke.
“Listen, Britt,” she began. “you’ve taken a noble stance. You’ve
offered to fight for a cause that we all know to be a necessary one. But
you have to realize that when you position yourself as representative
of a group, in this case womankind, you have certain responsibilities
to that group. You trumpet Sisterly Loveas a publication that serves
the causes of women, but you only present the extreme side of the
issue: hysterical commentary on remarks made by professors taken
out of context, endless self aggrandizement, and startlingly in-depth
lesbian issues. What you don’t realize is that you’re serving the needs
of a subset of the female population, not women in general.”
Charly then turned to the rest of the class. “Britt’s and Faye’s
attack on Herman was a perfect example of how the battle of the
sexes is often not a battle over ideology but rather a struggle for
territory and power. Men and women are like two countries trying to
hammer out a treaty. Not just in the workspace and the political
sphere, but in our day to day lives.
“Herman’s point was a valid one, and should have led us into an
intelligent discussion, but feeling their position threatened, Faye and
BIG AMERICAN BREAKFAST
10
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