“Hi Jake.” she said evenly. “What do you want?”
“Nothing Charly, nothing. I just wanted to tell you that what you
did for Herman was really cool in there. I wish I could be so
eloquent.”
“I didn’t do what I did for Herman. I did it because it had to be
done. And I’m not so eloquent, it’s just that when you feel strongly
about something and you know your subject well, the words will
come out by themselves, and they will be worthy and honest,” She
looked up at me and said with a harmless smile, “You should try it
sometime.”
I caught the gist of her jab, and tried to think of what to say in
return, but I didn’t want to admit the awful truth that I had never felt
strongly about anything in my life. Instead I said, “Are you referring
to something specific?”
She bowed her head and smiled the same way she did before
tearing into Britt Clausen. I braced myself.
“Let me see…how about: ‘most homeless people are only
homeless because they have a genetic predisposition to sleep
outdoors’ ?”
That was one of my better ones. She continued, “Oh, this one
was my favorite, wait, how does it go? You said that Atlantis, the
fabled underwater city, or Atlantusas it was spelled in the Latin was
actually an anagram for Tantalus, the guy who was put by Zeus in a
state of perpetual torture, teased with food and drink just out of his
reach. According to you, the ancient Greeks created this fable to
tantalize future generations with the hope of a finding a perfect
utopia that could never actually exist. I believe you ended that theory
by concluding that ancient mythology was a colossal practical joke.”
It was delightful to see that she remembered my comments so
clearly, and I could see that she wasn’t angry at all—in fact, she
seemed to be a little amused. “Funny you should mention that word,”
I said, “You should hear this theory I have about the Colossus…”
“No, I don’t think I should,” she cut me off. There was a short
silence, stifled smiles, and then we broke into a friendly laugh. The
truce was on. I found myself asking her out for coffee, though not on
my own volition. It had been done completely without thought or
intention. It occurred to me later that maybe this was what she meant
by words coming out by themselves when you really feel strongly
about something. I had no way of knowing, though, because this sort
of thing had never happened to me before.
BIG AMERICAN BREAKFAST
12
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