pranayama, which was ostensibly designed to force-feed the brain
oxygen. This would help give it the strength it needed to “clean
house,” he said. After a half an hour of this, we took a short rest and
began to meditate.
At first it was easy. I could just sit without thinking about much.
But as soon as I realized that I was doing well I began to think about
how well I was doing and then that made me think about how fast I
would find enlightenment and that maybe this was my calling in life
and I could go home and be a spiritual teacher and then girls would
love me and then…and then…
“You are thinking too much,” Haridas said.
How did he know that? I nodded and tried again. But each time
the same thing would happen. One small thought would lead to
another until I was like a dog chasing its tail. The more I tried and the
more I failed the more I thought about how terrible I was at this and
how I’d never benefit from this and I was going to have to do this for
a whole month and I was going to go crazy…”
“You are thinking too much,” Haridas said again.
Static. I tried again, but as soon as I’d manage to switch off the
knob, some clumsy fool in my brain would stumble over and switch
it on again full blast.
“Do you see many movies in America?” Haridas asked me one day. I
told him I did. He probed further: “Do you notice that when there is
a dramatic scene, music is playing in the background?” I told him
that I did notice that. “Why do you think they do that?”
“Because the music helps you to feel more emotion,” I said.
“But why does that music need to help you feel emotion that
should already be there?”
I thought for a moment and said, “Because you are detached
from what is really happening. You are only watching, not living the
movie.”
“Exactly. So how does the music bring you closer to the movie?”
I was stumped. “Beats me,” I said.
He raised a finger and looked me in the eye while exclaiming,
“When watching a movie we are watching imitation of reality, and
music must be added to make it seem real. This is because in reality,
the music is always there. Most of us don’t hear it though. Many live
life like a film with no soundtrack. This keeps them from the ananda
of existence. The bliss. To hear the music that is always around us,
BIG AMERICAN BREAKFAST
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