Oliver Benjamin
significance in my mind. They became deeper, more meaningful. My
actions were done with intention and awareness, rather than merely
by rote or habit.
My meditation began to transform. No longer was it merely an
act of sitting and fighting off my own mind. The experience was one
of a profound fullness, of musical silence, as if a great crushing
weight was slowly being lifted off of my back, and something that had
been denied entrance was finally allowed to circulate through my
being. It was an uncanny feeling that I was at pains to discuss with
Haridas, but which he insisted I not talk about, ore else the feeling
might become dissected and thus deflated.
“I may have given you encouraging introduction through my
words,” he cautioned, “But very important at this point is for you to
discover for yourself what the feeling is like. For now, you must allow
your spirit to expand freely without trying to explain it. Allow your
feeling to develop inside you first. Later we may discuss it.”
One day, while we were eating lunch, Haridas asked me where I was
from. When I told him that I was from Los Angeles, he asked me to
tell him what it was like.
“The weather is great. Everything is possible. Lots of people
chasing their dreams.”
“Sounds terrible,” he said. “They must be very unhappy.”
“How did you know that?”
“When everything is possible nothing is of value. When the sun
always shines its light is no longer appreciated. Have you eaten a
thali?”
“A thali?”
“It’s a wonderful South Indian meal with many different things.
Meat, curry, pickle, yogurt, vegetable, roti, papadam. It features all
the flavors of experience. Sour, sweet, spicy, salty, cooling, heating.
But behind it, there is only one taste, and that is the pure energy of
life. In fact, food is one of the best symbols for life itself. We are what
we eat!”
“So the meaning of life is food.”
“Ah, this stupid question,” he said in between chews. “Everyone
asks, what is the meaning of life. It is the stupidest question in the
world.”
“But still…”
“Life is absurd, but it is good.”
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