Oliver Benjamin
gets those curious, fascinated and mysterious juices of kindiegarden
flowing is ironically, the same thing we wouldn’t go near when we
were in kindergarten—little girls. And big girls, and the whole
glorious spectrum in between. And if somebody ever writes a book
that successfully explains just what the hell is going on between those
pretty little ears, that person would be guilty of hammering the last
nails in the coffins of millions of youthful hearts worldwide. I say
leave it alone—women are trickier than any puzzle and they’re a hell
of a lot more fun to play with. Women: Can’t live with them, can’t
live without them. But you’ve got to live near them.That’s my
credo.”
I asked him if he’d ever been married.
“Not yet. There’s a girl I love back home, but she doesn’t like to
travel, so I’m taking in all the misery tours I can fit in before we get
hitched. It’s kind of for research, you see. I was actually thinking
about someday starting a business taking people to all these places
and helping them put their own life into perspective.”
“I presume you’ve found India pretty miserable so far.”
“Yeah, pretty much. Just came from Calcutta—the misery is
superbthere. World-class. So many people are so poor and deformed
and malnourished, living in lousy little boxes and exposed to the
harsh climate. But you know, they’re so friendly and happy in the
midst of all their squalor that its really inspiring. Your stock portfolio
seems hardly such a concern when you see some filthy guy with no
legs and only one deformed arm scuttling along the pavement,
whistling some Bengali tune and wishing you a good day with a smile
that knows no teeth. Man, that place is pure therapy. Nobody takes
anything for granted on the streets of Calcutta. You didn’t stop there
Junior?”
“No, maybe some other time,” I replied. “Right now me and my
buddy Oz our way to the Omniraja Ashram. Thought we might give
spirituality a shot. I heard its sort of like a new-age Disneyland.”
“Hey, what do you know—I’m off to see the Raja also! I’ve heard
so much about him that I thought it might be worthwhile to check
him out.”
“Hmm,” I hovered, scratching my chin. “How does this Raja guy
fit in with your quest for woe? Is there something I should know
about this place?”
He looked momentarily taken aback by my suggestion, and
finally confided: “Well Junior, suffering is hard work—especially
149
 |
 |
 |
 |