when it’s self-inflicted. Even soldiers get time off from battle, and I’m
definitely in need of a little lounging by the Tao of Pooland engaging
in a friendly game of…ah, what do they call it over
there?…Gladminton. Hell, it’s worth a stop just to stare at all the
freaks. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even learn how to have an out-of-
body experience or something. “
“I don’t know if leaving such dangerous machinery lying around
unattended is such a good idea.” He laughed and we exchanged a
high-five that nearly dislocated my shoulder. “Anyway,” he said,
“First one to reach enlightenment wins.”
“Deal. But how do we prove it once we get there?
Oscar, just waking up, interjected, “They say that only the
enlightened know if someone else is enlightened,” he said. We looked
at him blankly, and he added: “Oh, I don’t know, maybe there’s a
secret handshake. We’re not supposed to be able to understand such
things.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Joe Fortune said, “In its essence, Buddhism
maintains that truth has to be found out for yourself. Always order
from the menu of life a la carte. It may cost more, but you won’t
have to swallow anything that doesn’t agree with you. That’s my
credo!”
Oscar shrugged. “But it also means you might make a big mess.
Twinkies and foie gras. A duck milkshake. Chicken-salad sushi.
Sometimes you need an established framework.”
Joe shook his head. “All you need is common sense and a whole
bunch of good cookbooks. And if anyone wants to drink a duck
milkshake, I say let ‘em.”
“After eating the shit they’ve been serving on this train,” I said,
“I might be up for a duck milkshake.”
“Joy can be found in the craziest things,” Joe maintained. “And
the most rotten.”
CHAPTER 22
We hurtled through the night. I couldn’t sleep so I tapped Oscar on
the shoulder.
“Oscar, just what the hell is an ashram anyway?”
“Mmm? No thanks, don’t smoke.” He said, his head sinking into
the enormous white turban of the man sitting next to him. I decided
BIG AMERICAN BREAKFAST
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