She looked up at the giant painting of him and sighed. “Well
that’s because the Omniraja is omniscient, omnipresent and
omnipotent.”
“And omnivorous?” asked Joe.
“No, he only eats brains,” I said.
“Oh! Ha ha ha ha!” the woman laughed. “Oh, that’s very funny.
Omniraja would have liked that one. Actually, we do believe Him to
be all-powerful.”
You could actually hear the capital “H” in “Him.”
“You mean like God?” I inquired.
“No. God is a lie. He doesn’t exist.”
“So what’s the difference between Omniraja and God?”
“You can see for yourself—Omniraja is real, while God is not
real. Can you see God?”
“No, but I also can’t see that Omniraja is omni-powerful!”
“Oh, yes you can, if you look closely enough.”
“How do you know this guy isn’t pulling your leg?”
“Oh, but he is pulling our legs, and our hands and our minds
and our souls into the great oasis of enlightenment! Oh, that was
clever. Omniraja would have liked that one. Well, swami, the truth is
you can’t really understand the power of Omniraja until you accept
him into your heart.”
“But how can I accept him into my heart if I don’t understand
his power? I like to know what it is I’m accepting before I accept it!”
I was becoming frustrated.
“You’re too constrained by the sequential order of things. For
instance—how do you know that we aren’t really moving backwards
in time? Maybe you haven’t walked in through that door yet!” she
pointed to the open doorway. “Time is merely an illusion, you know.”
There was a moment of dull silence.
“I see,” Oscar said, “In that case, how do you know we haven’t
already paid you for our stay? In fact, we have.”
“And how do you know that I haven’t already kicked you out?”
she giggled.
She was smarter than she appeared. The Omniraja Commune
International didn’t get filthy rich by trusting its business
administration to metaphysics.
“Come back tomorrow with your blood tests and we’ll try to put
everything in a workable perspective.”
BIG AMERICAN BREAKFAST
158
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