Oliver Benjamin
and who died and put you in chargeand don’t listen to him, kids, he’s
fucked up on a sugar highand so on and so forth.
Suddenly, an enormous mouth appears in the sky and starts
sucking up all the marshmallows, which causes pandemonium
among the marshmallow constituency, and to which I react by
screaming and frantically trying to fling myself over the edge of the
world with the hope that there exists some better option for a
marshmallow than to be sucked up by an enormous mouth.
Unfortunately, I’ve sort of melted into another marshmallow and
this makes my escape sort of difficult, until I realize that she has the
same plan, but can’t get away from her overprotective mother.
Somehow at the last minute, a giant splash of chocolate sends us
both careening over the edge of the mug and into the vast recesses
of space, finally to land on a hard surface that reminds me a lot of
my plastic childhood home, only that this one is harder and opaque
and has a really kitschy artificial floral pattern on it.
With great effort, we manage to roll ourselves under a giant
automatic dishwasher and out of any possible harm’s way. It
appears to be a safe refuge and here we slowly grow old and hard
until finally after many years my companion turns to me and says,
“What’s so great about this? I want to be somebody!” and feebly
rolls herself out onto the linoleum where she is immediately eaten by
a giant cat, and vomited up two hours later in a flower bed in the
backyard.
Sick with grief, I finally allow the bacteria and cockroaches to
finish me off, and I suffer a death that knows no glory and serves no
function. As my world turns black around me, I pray that I will
come back in the next life as a giant mouth. Woe is the life of a poor
marshmallow. Being soft and sweet in this world will get you
nowhere.
I awoke at the crack of dawn to the pounding of Oscar’s fist at my
door. It was six o’clock and I’d been sleeping for fourteen hours, but
it felt like I just laid down. Nevertheless, I managed to hoist myself
out of bed only to collapse onto the floor, where I only fell back into
a leisurely dream.
I am an enormous mouth. It is time for breakfast and I am
preparing a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows. As I raise the
mug to my lips, I distinctly hear the sound of screaming from…
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