Oliver Benjamin
I suspected it was altered electronically. But then again, I thought, no
one would want to sound like that intentionally—something like
Peter Lorre attempting a thick Indian accent while suffering from a
particularly bad head cold.
Whatever he lacked in resonance was effectively covered up by
the utter reverence of his followers. His words were of a homegrown
nature, chosen to appeal to a younger, more impressionable
generation. And he seemed authentically clever. I found myself
enjoying his message as much as his manner of speaking. He paused
in unusual places to create tension, allowing a vacuum to be created
which he then filled with real humdingers that caused the crowd to
burst out laughing. The evening’s lecture was entitled “It’s the end of
the world as we know it (and I feel fine),” and dealt with man’s
destruction of the earth.
“Gone are the days of Moses, Jesus and Mohammed. Buddha and
Vishnu are at this very moment standing in the unemployment line
too. You see children, there is a new God in town, and he is the
master of all he surveys. This new God is divine, but not benevolent.
He is powerful but without remorse. The bad news is that he is
without virtue. He is what was once commonly referred to as the
Devil, but today his name is Cole Hardcash.He is none other than
basic greed, the selfish and the immediate, and he is in control now.”
A diagram appeared on the screen which read:
Root of all evil =Money
Money =Power
Power = Corrupts
Corruption =Pollution
Pollution =Accelerated Death of Global Ecology
Accelerated Death of Global Ecology =
The End of the World As We Know It.
He reviewed the diagram like a teacher with a class of second-
graders. “Ooh”s and “Aah”s were heard intermittently through the
crowd. Satisfied, he continued with his analysis:
“So we can see by this diagram that it is money which will give
rise to the untimely end of the world. It is tragic, but there is a silver
lining: Given enough effort, it is changeable, although it will still be
the end of the world as we know it. With the arrival of you, a truly
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