“That’s the name they give you when you fully join the ashram.
It’s kind of like your old self dies and you become reborn, so they
figure that since you’re born again you might as well get a new name
and dump the old one.”
“Yeah,” I mused, “no one likes being named after a dead relative
anyway.”
She laughed, drawing my attention to her mouth. Though a
small, mousy-looking girl, her oral cavity looked as if it had been
transplanted onto her face from someone much bigger. As a young
child, I had nightmares that sewer drains in sidewalk curbs tried to
suck me down into the nether worlds under the pavement.
Henceforth, whenever Nivenada’s mouth opened wide I would
instinctively pull away.
We spoke for a while and I was overcome with the feeling that
this was, in fact a pretty normal human being. It was reassuring to
know there were a few normals on the ashram.
“You know,” she confided in me, “I have to admit that I have
somewhat of a problem with this whole Omniraja thing.”
A confession! “How do you mean?” I inquired
“Oh, just all this worshipping him like he was a God or
something. He’s just a man, after all.”
When I agreed with her she became animated. “You see,” she
said, mouth spreading across her face like the tide coming in, “I just
feel that maybe its a little scary that one person has so much control
over so many people. He seems like he means well, but you know
what power does to people…”
I nodded vigorously. She continued, “I think everyone here
should respect his words, but not fix themselves to his body, you
know?”
Fix themselves to his body? Was that symbolism?
“Also, to some extent, I just have a problem with men who are
overly powerful and possibly manipulative. They kind of scare me.
You see,” she paused, and then admitted, “I think I was a witch in a
previous life.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, and supposedly also a good friend of Joan of Arc. That
would also explain my fear of fires. Oh, I don’t know really. It’s all
just so strange.”
“What’s strange?” I asked.
“It. Life. You. Me. Nothing makes sense, you know?”
BIG AMERICAN BREAKFAST
168
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